i love film! like true love.

eeeeep, i finally got my film developed and scanned, and it only took a month! i don't know what else to say except that it makes my post-processing a lot easier (as in i didn't edit at all). i should shoot film more often since i'm mostly trying to imitate it on the dslr anyway. even when the picture's not focused, it produces the noise that i love so much. this is especially perfect for me since i can't focus for shit. yeahh.. little else to say - for once - except that these are from a while back. just a bunch of random shots from central park. some of them are underexposed since i adjusted it unknowingly midway into the film (hey, it was my second day ever using a film camera!), but that's okay because it looks intentional..ish. so here they are in all their underexposed glory! can you tell i'm excited by the sheer number of exclamation points in this post?

last one look familiar? haha just snuck the last one in there because i like the vignetting. i was just trying to finish up the roll of film, okay? and i happen to like that picture too, haha.

an ode to impressionism.

i think one of my favorite things about photography is its ability to allow me to creative without having to physically draw something. my hand-eye coordination just won't allow for it. like any good asian child, i took art lessons for five years, but unlike every other good asian child, i don't think i improved much over those five years. i'm as impatient now as i was then. i just remember sketching and painting a lotttt of still life, most of that still life being bowls of fruit, which especially pissed me off since i just wanted to eat the damn fruit after staring at it for so long. so long that i swear i could see them ripening.. which would then fuck up my shading! ugh, anyway, i just thought of that after seeing this pic i took at the flower show at macy's herald square (which was basically arranged flowers on top of the macy's counters). it kind of reminds me of an impressionist painting, no? excuse the yellow, fluorescent tones.. i didn't realize the flower show was going to be indoors.

your weekly depressing pictures..

my title is lame, and this is not going to be a weekly thing. it's kind of hard for me to write any sort of title or commentary to go with these pictures as i stare out my window to an incredibly sunny landscape (even if it's all concrete buildings). these images were taken at the terezin concentration camp in the czech republic, and i didn't really post the more depressing pictures because.. well, i didn't even really want to look at them. i'm not going to get into the extraordinary high and lows that the human spirit experienced here because what the hell do i know?

this one is an unfocused shot of their communal bathrooms. it resembled the ones you see in the prison until you realize where you were. i liked this shot since it kind of captured the chaos that occurred in there.

i guess i liked barren trees even back in the day, but the focus is actually the concrete wall where they used to line up prisoners to be executed by a firing squad. crazy.

a day out with the holga lens in new jersey.

here is the story (but really just a haphazard collection of images) of my first day out with my new holga lens for the dslr. i really need to learn more about it.. seeing as i just googled it and found out that it's a fixed 60mm/f8 lens. hmm, probably would've been good to know that during the day. i only figured out that i could change my ISO around 3pm. oh well, i still have to figure out how to focus the the images (the holga lens' ruler ranges from one person to a bunch of people.. to a mountain.. and i'm supposed to figure out distance from that.) whatever, that's my disclaimer since all of these pictures are straight out of the camera. no editing since the holga lens' distorts the pic enough as is and because i'm tired. but mostly because i'm tired.

testing.. 

more testing.. still didn't know i could change the ISO..

obviously this lens requires a lotttt of light. luckily, today was extremely sunny, and i was able to take rocco out to the dog park for the first time with some very inappropriately dressed people/dumbasses. it was 32 degrees out and extremely windy. one was dressed in a thin blazer, knee-length cotton dress, and tights, and the other in a thin sweater and jeans. of course, i snapped away in my winter jacket and sweats.

nervous puppy.. he didn't want to play with the other dogs.. 

extremely staged picture of rocco socializing with other dogs. he probably ran away two seconds after this picture was taken.

loneeeely puppehhhhh.... :(

surburbia 1.. "farm with no cows"

suburbia 2.. "dirt mound"

suburbia 3.. "lonely tree"

like my titles? i was trying to keep up with the hipster holga/minimalism-but-not-thus-ironic theme. ok, i just made that up. i'm not very creative.. but anyway, east brunswick is not as desolate as i made these it out to be in these pictures. i'm not even sure if the first place is a farm, but this is probably the only open plot of land left in this little over-developed town of mine. every other acre of land has pretty much been bought out by developers (they're a little slow to adjust to the economy here.. i kid.)

if you can't tell, i really liked taking pictures of trees with this lens. empty, barren trees.. i guess that they forgot it's spring!! but then again so did i. this weather is reeeeee-deek-cue-luss.

standard brooklyn photos.

anyone with a camera whose ever ventured across the brooklyn bridge has pictures of it's incredibly photogenic, symmetric steel suspension wires. so here are mine.

and just a brief note on proofreading:

ok, i think it's pretty obvious that i don't proofread my posts. i kind of just ramble and hit "publish post". i just hate re-reading my own thoughts because it would force me to confront my own awkwardness. you think i'm awkward in real life? well it's 10x worse in my head. or maybe i'm just too lazy to organize my thoughts. it's probably a combination of both.

conclusion: y'all are just going to have to fill in my missing prepositions/words by yourself.

ps. i couldn't even get my brief intro correct. i missed the "bridge" in brooklyn and wrote pictures twice, and it took one very obnoxious proofreader and probably five minutes for me to find the former and probably five hours to find the latter.

i need a brief respite from Machete.

currently watching Machete. danny trejo as the ultimate BAMF, steven seagal as a mexican drug lord BAMF, robert de niro as an uber-conservative texan senator BAMF, cheech marin as a double-fisting-gun-toting BAMF priest.. what more do you need in a movie? it's your typical kitschy robert rodriguez film, guaranteed to be filled with gratuitous bloody machete-d limbs flying everywhere (his titles kind of say it all), so i just thought i'd pop in some happy pictures from this past weekend for my own sake.

here's a picture of my new "plant". just sayin' since i asked a new plant, and this is what i ended up with. i'm not really complaining, but i really just wanted an herb garden to water every day on windowsill. is that so much to ask?

apparently orchids are pretty easy to take care of. they don't require too much sunlight and only need to be watered 10-12 days.. but that can difficult since i have trouble remembering things i have to do on a daily basis. oh well, let's see how long they last..

annnnd just because he's good eye candy:

look at how big his ears are now! i think he's looking a bit skinny though.. which inspired by new diet plan. whatever i eat, i give him some to make sure i don't end up eating everything, except it really work when i eat out (99% of my meals) and he definitely doesn't help out with my addiction to pretzel m&ms. i'm almost done with the 2 XXL bags that i got two weeks ago. that's 29 servings each. yeah, it's kinda serious.

the good life.

everyone has their own version of the good life. mine just happens to include dinner at ai fiori which just so happened this past friday night, and the place did not disappoint. the decor definitely reflected its food, modern yet traditional italian fare, and it is definitely my favorite michael white restaurant to date.

pictures are a little out of order for formatting purposes. the flowers in the last picture should really be first since i got them before dinner, (thanks, i appreciate.. haha) and the amuse bouche before the egg.. and the wine before food.. but i digress. [ignore my poor photoshop skills. if only i could do the food justice!]

table decor | uovo slow poached egg

nuits st. georges charmois

squash shooter amuse bouche..but i don't really remember.

ostriche poached wellfleet oysters

trofie nero | gnochetti

self-explanatory.

creepin'.

bouillabaisse

astice butter poached lobster. on par with le bernardin lobster??
i totally forgot what this one was called..
torta di olio olive oil cake with an amazing espresso gelato.
sgroppino grapefruit
sgroppino spiced pear
petit fours
bar at ai fiori
flowers :)

pretty wonderful meal. only slight hiccup at the beginning when i had trouble reading the menu.

"cominciare/pasta or risotto/pesce or carne/dolce" [for a four course prix fixe]

who wouldn't confuse that for only three courses? i think i repeated "why would they make you choose between meat and dessert??" like five times until the waiter had to come over to clarify. as he said, "it's just a part of my job." i also happen to be retarded

nyc (faux polaroid v2)

yup, another attempt. i know my dimensions are off because a) i can't measure for shit in photoshop, and 2) i was too lazy to actually look up polaroid measurements. luckily, most of you don't know them and don't care. isn't it awesome how life works out that way?

hello, spring.

i'd like to think i'm a simple kind of girl who is content with the smell of fresh flowers and freshly-brewed coffee in the morning, but one can only delude oneself so much. flowers are okay but too much effort to maintain after my initial glance of admiration, and coffee.. i just need it in the morning. so really, i am the worst kind of simple girl, the kind that thinks she's simple but is not and gets really, really pissed off when someone else doesn't understand her supposed country-bumpkin mentality. (but i'm so simple!) howeverrr, once in a blue moon, my mind slows down, and i actually appreciate the little things in life. child-like wonder is a beautiful thing.

spring's almost here. not quite there yet. especially on this rainy morning.

i hate when..

[this is really more a rant than anything, but if you're bored, then read on!]

1. i eat too many calories. where do they come from..
2. i'm on a schedule. who has the patience and/or time?
3. people make obvious comments, but mostly because i will have nothing to contribute to the conversation and start saying really awkward things, so let's avoid that for everyone's sake.
4. people miss my awesome jokes/witty comments.. because how often do they come along? so let's get with the program people. otherwise, i will be a very, very boring person. [see #3.]
5. i have shitty coffee. actually, i can deal with shitty coffee (but only because i can't afford $3.50 for a cup of single-origin coffee every day), just not coffee that doesn't have any caffeine content, so you know.. i can stay awake and keep my job.
6. people talk while i'm peeing. seriously... just stop. my monosyllabic responses are just a courteous way of saying shut the fuck up.
7. people are nice/patient/empathetic/etcetc. i don't understand. share your secretsssss. i want to be a better person! kinda.
8. i see anyone who owns anything by celine. just.not.fair.
9. wait. nevermind. i own celine shoes. but it's not enough!! i am greedy.
10. people adopt by mannerisms. get your own personality, oookay? thanks. *you have to read this as if i'm saying this in your head, or i will come across as an uber-bitch.
11. people are too similar to me. then i feel like i'm talking to myself, and i know that that's no fun.
12. i have to go the west village. why do you house so much cool shit but are so fucking difficult to navigate? why do w4th st & w11th st intersect?!?! four years at NYU, and i still don't know..
13. seriously, i really hate #12. it deserves two slots.
14. things that end on weird numbers. i need to hit 15.
15. i get too many emails that there are cupcakes in the kitchen. i get it.. just give me a minute!!

i don't really hate all of these things. just sometimes..

that is all for today. cupcake time!

"inspiration is for amateurs."

did you know amateur means "lover of" in french? i didn't.. just found that out on wikipedia because i googled amateur to check if i spelled it correctly. i did, just fyi.

not sure how my title relates to this post. i suppose it does since i have been feeling a bit uninspired as of late.. not that i normally feel particular inspired or anything. or i've just been lazy. i guess inspiration is for amateurs, and this post just serves to accentuate my currently uninspiring/lazy lifestyle because there's nothing better than comparing your current life to the your much more exciting past life. just kidding! i just had an incredible meal at brooklyn fare, except i accidentally called cesar ramirez's scallop "too seafood-y" (and he heard me! and glared at me!) so many failures these weekend.. (upcoming post?) haha, so life's just different. it's so strange to see how much it has changed in a little more than two and a half years. not much i can/would/could/should change, i think, but i guess i wish i didn't abandon photography for all that time. oh well, i didn't have much to photograph except for empty notebooks and cheap beer.

yes, i know i'm wordy.

anyway, i wish i didn't fuck up the first picture back in the day in iphoto. i didn't know any better, and i thought it looked cool (i still think it does a little bit haha). whoops, too lazy to try to fix it now.. haha, sensing a theme? i promise to be more exciting in my next post. maybe.

 life in october 2008.

life in march 2011.

bouley (the faux polaroid version).

i want a polaroid camera. i just love the warm tones (even if it's only because it's expired film) and how they always elevate an otherwise mundane scene into something.. more. seriously, what other camera can make a cup of coffee look so artistic? empty, full, half drank/drunk/sipped(?), spilled all over the table, two cups of coffee.. yup, i have seen my share of coffee polaroids. it gets fancy.

and i have drawn 5 easy steps to take a good polaroid. all you need is*:
1. a random, unassuming scene - otherwise you'll seem like you're trying to hard. these old cameras can only handle so much in their frame.
2. natural light.
3. some semblance of composition, but this isn't necessary because polaroid=instant cool.
4. go to a recent, poor college grad's apartment that will most likely be filled with no furniture. jackpot! "minimalism" and anything old and worn-down (like the polaroid camera) work best for these pictures. it's character!
5. all else fails, find a hipster. flannel shirts and plastic frames picture well.
n.b.: just the fact that you own a polaroid probably means you're into photography and cannot in good conscience waste the ridiculously rare film on stupid shit. (that or you have a lot of money & time to spare. in that case, see #3-5.)
and voila! awesome polaroid.

*just kidding. i'm just a hater who wishes she had a polaroid sx-70. i'm sure there's a lot that goes into a nice polaroid photo. see here.

so here's my homage to the sx-70 i will never own, but i'm ok with that, haha. plus, i just wanna see a fancy dinner processed in that 'roid-y way..

[i wrote this intro before i actually processed the pictures.. and damn, it was a lot harder than i thought. i just assumed i could make everything really, really yellow/faded, which did notttt work out. i didn't want to overprocess them, but then it didn't look polaroid-y enough, then i tried that, but then it just looked too photoshopped/clearly not a polaroid........ergh. i mean, they kinda look polaroid-y.. or at the very least, you can sense that there was a semblance of an attempt to achieve that look.]

i am also missing like five dishes, but whatever. i give up. i gave up four pictures in actually haha. FRIDAY.

the rise and fall of mr. bee.

ever since i got my rocco, my friends have slowly been replaced with rocco's favorite toys. the toy du jour happens to be mr. bee since his favorite toys typically have a lifespan of one night. here is the story of the rise and fall of mr. bee re-interpreted as a really shitty children's story, aptly titled "the rise and fall of mr. bee". haaaa omg, i need to get out more.

1. once upon a time, rocco, the prince(ss) of the land, was bored was with all of his toys. his slave (me), never wanting to see him lonely or upset, ventured out to a neighboring kingdom, petropolis (real name of the store) to pick up some new toys to amuse him. tired of seeing him chew on dried tendons, i had to find something new.. something cuter.. and then, i saw mr. bee. dundundun! mr. bee is a stuffed animal that squeaks and has crinkly wings. i thought i had found the perfect new toy for my princess.

2. at first, rocco was wary of mr. bee. it squeaks! it crinkles! it's not easily chewed up! mr. bee, it seems, had already gotten the best of rocco.

3. i was not ready to give up this easily. i was still confident in my choice and determined to make sure that rocco enjoyed it. however, few things can replace rocco's favorite toy: the camera/my face. i was lying down on the ground to get some shots, which rendered me defenseless against this teething puppy. with mr. bee out of the picture, my face was his next target.. but not before he posed for a quick pic first! what a model, and his ears are finally up!

4. desperate to amuse him with something other than my mangled face, i gave rocco one of his ex-favorite toys, mr. pink tennis ball (ok, i am not too great with names). choices, choices.. what will he choose?!

5. wheeeeeeee, success!! funfunfun for everyone! the princess has been satisfied.

6. unfortunately, he was not amused for too long. hence this blurry shot.. didn't have any time to focus my shot (or for most of these for that matter).. had a crazy puppy coming at 579831mph ready to bite my face off.. lovingly, i'm sure.. butbecominglesssurebythesecond.

7. as with all of rocco's "favorite" toys, with the exception of my face and toes, mr. bee met his inevitable demise and was forsaken to some desolate corner in the apartment. some goodbye looks at mr. bee..

8. the defeated mr. bee, you served me well, for all of an hour, and that is all i can ask of you. thanks.

fin.

you may say i'm dreamer.. but i'm not the only one.

if you don't know what song i'm referring to, then you need to re-evaluate your life. or at the very least, the music you listen to.

here are some pictures from the john lennon wall in prague. the graffiti/images are constantly changing, but here's a peek of what was there on a sunny day in the fall of 2008..

my favorite are the top two! wish i didn't shittily process them in iphoto back then. oh well still love all these pics! short post since rocco needs attention.

no one man should have all that power..

yup, another post dedicated to everyone's favorite subject: rocco! you can probably assume by the amount of posts dedicated to him that i am completely obssessed with him.. [basically whatever rocco wants, rocco gets (he learns from the best!)] he also looves getting his picture taken, and usually, he is the most adorable, photogenic puppy of all time, but sometimes.. he is what i like to refer to as crazy puppehhhh (still a cutie though, but i am obviously biased).

ps. hahaha, also cannot believe that people actually read my "highlights of my weekend" post. nice to know that my rambles are not completely incoherent, but nonetheless, here's a semi-legit post.

highlights of my weekend.

gosh, where do i start.. i should probably start off with the fact that i went back home to suburbia, nj. thus, everything and anything that required me to overcome my almost-catatonic inert state basically qualified as a highlight. here are some of the top highlights in no particular order:

1. walking less than half a mile all weekend. i was trying to make it less, but my living room/kitchen and bedroom are not on the same floor, boo.
2. mcdonald's drive-thru. suburbia's version of delivery because most suburbanites are too cheap to tip for delivery (or maybe because my parents were too asian for that).
3. getting complimented on my nail polish by multiple high school girls. anyone +/-5 years within my age is fair game here. i'm sure if i came across another 22 year old, they would've complimented my sparkly, silvery nail polish too. yep.
4. non-stop top 40 radio while driving. because i'm still too ashamed to put it on my ipod.. except for justin bieber. he's a wunderkind, okay? i still regret deleting spice girls from my itunes..
5. being able to sit further than 10 feet away from the tv, so i can watch the criminal minds' marathon without my eyeballs bugging out.
6. wearing the same outfit all weekend (grey xl hoodie, ragged oversized t-shirt, pink sweats) - i took off the hoodie when i went to bed to keep it classy.
7. driving with the top-down for the 10 minutes it was nice out to get ice cream.
8. the bent spoon's lavender marscapone & cream cheese ice cream. no snippy comment required.
9. h-mart's free samples which put costco's samples to shame - i swear i could've had dinner there, but there was a needy puppy in the car.. and they ran out of samples.
9a. going to h-mart again, snacking on their samples again, and taking illicit pictures at h-mart despite the the explicit signs that no photographs are allowed. yep, badass-ery is pretty easy to come by here.
10. going to target.
11. shopping at target.
12. target's low, low, looow prices. i had the reverse of sticker shock, and i was finally picked up some biore pore strips & pretzel m&ms!!
13. using a biore pore strip while munching on pretzel m&ms.
14. while listening to r. kelly's love letter. (yes, i am painfully aware that i am behind on new music.)
15. while lying in bed having no sense of stress or responsibility.
16. helping myself to a glass of rioja after completing #10-15.
17. doing #1-16 with no make-up and not giving a shit.. because i have no desire to impress my grandma.
18. actually being able to respond to bbms/texts/phone calls within an hour.
19. watching the USA swimming grand prix.. mm swimmers' bodies.. hahahh. just sayin.
20. monday tomorrow. why's this a highlight? monday's are for winning, thanks charlie sheen. winwinwin.

comforts of suburbia.

asian-girl-foodie-stereotype.

i'm sure we're alll aware of the asian-girl-foodie-stereotype. the one that says that asian girls looOoooOoove food, love to take pictures of it, love to talk about it - "have you had the fried mac&cheese at cheesecake factory???? it's sooo goood!!" (real example.) yeah, you know what i'm talking about, and they always happen to be the tiniest girls you know. i don't know why or how this stereotype was relegated to asian girls specifically, seeing as food plays important role in a lot of cultures, but i've learned to deal with it. although i think i fall more into the fatass category, the difference being - i see food, i eat it, end of story. regardless, i take pictures of my food from time to time too.. i mean, why do chefs bother to work so hard on presentation if you're just going to eat it right away? and really, who doesn't love food?? and you take pictures of things you love, right??? rhetorical questions, but if you're a dummy, the correct answers would be: to remember it via photos, NO ONE, and yes unless you have no heart, respectively. pictures are especially important to me since my head is where memories go to die. no matter how beautiful the presentation or how sublime the flavor profile, i will inevitably forget it the next day. [one notable exception being Marea's fusilli and Corton's tasting menu - i didn't bring a camera or take pictures with my phone, and i still remember some of the plates.. amazing!]

anyway, this really long ramble was really just supposed to serve as an introduction, albeit a shitty one, to my pictures of food!! but i'd thought i'd switch it up a bit by not necessarily showing pictures of the most composed dishes because those pictures practically take themselves.. i don't want to play too much into my stereotype! most of them are fuzzy anyway because i was too excited to eat..

ps. i've gotten a lot of feedback saying that i write just like i talk (e.g. "i can hear you talking in my head."). so for those of you that don't know me, now you do, hahaha. i ramble. a lot. and i love conjunctions and commas.. that's just how i think!

pps. the chocolate biscotti from il cantuccio is also divine. there is always a lovely white-bespectacled lady who is more than willing to dole out free samples! and they don't use any butter or oil in any of their baked goods.. crazyy!